Kind of a depressing story to be honest with you all but I think many go through this and don’t know where to turn or what to do. Break ups are the worst especially since this person was a massive part of my life. You get into a routine, especially in a long term relationship. You get used to that person. Now mine was quite a shock as we had been together a while and he actually left me in a hotel room on my own on the night of my ball, which was actually the reason I joined the programme in order to feel good about myself. The complete opposite right? It’s only been four days since I’ve actually stopped crying. The reason why I’m saying this is because I worked really hard in the gym and found it absolutely refreshing. It helped with anxiety but it wasn’t enough to take all the problems away, I wasn’t sure I had. I haven’t eaten, slept properly and have no motivation. Today would’ve been our anniversary today so it’s just not great. Its taken me a while but I’ve come to the realisation that it isn’t about ‘I’m going to be the hottest ex he has’ and it isn’t about getting back, anger and upset. Going to the gym and having the group and having a mentor that physically posts inspiration and asks if you are ok is what it’s about. Many people with a lot of followers can SOMETIMES become disconnected from them and they lack that bond but I cannot thank Jamie enough for all of the support and especially the girls too. It’s also about doing it for yourself. Find yourself and be kind to yourself. Take care of your body because it’s so important and if I didn’t have the closeness and the programme, I’d probably deal with this in a completely different way. I’m only eighteen and it must sound so dramatic but at the end of the day there’s so much more to life that I have yet to explore but at the moment I’m going to start by finding myself and what I am comfortable in. I don’t want anybody to ever feel alone and I know there are bigger issues in the world but there’s always someone willing to listen. As much as I loved what I had. I need to find a new path and hopefully a brighter one.

Alexandra Ford